Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while, Senor”. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican fisherman replied that he…
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Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…
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A local TV station sponsored a fabulous contest, the grand prize being a 30-day all expense paid trip around the world. Three gentlemen were selected as finalists, and as a final task each were given 14 days to accumulate as many ping pong balls as they could. The three men all set out on their unusual journey. After 5 days the first gentleman returned in a Chevy pickup truck, filled to the top with small white ping pong balls. “Great!…
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While hiking in the countryside, my friend, Eva, and I spotted a huge bed of mushrooms that we knew to be edible. We gathered a large basketful and sauteed them that night. My husband, Dick, refused to eat them, thinking they might be poisonous. Two weeks later, Eva and I gathered some more mushrooms. This time, Dick joined us. “How is it that you’re eating the mushrooms tonight,” I asked, “when you wouldn’t touch the ones we brought home two…
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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This really happened in 1976. A woman saw a snake slithering across her kitchen floor and screamed for her husband. Husband comes running out of the bathroom and stepped on the dog. Husband gets down on the kitchen floor to look for the snake. Dog comes up behind and as his cold nose touches the husband he faints thinking it is the snake. Wife calls paramedics who rush to the scene and load husband onto stretcher. Snake decides to make…
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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven. “You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “that I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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A contractor was working on a house and a little boy was watching him when he dropped his hammer. He asked the boy to hand it back to him and the boy said, “My dad has two hammers and when he drops one he uses the other.” Well, he never said anything to the boy and went back to work. A few minutes later he dropped his screwdriver and asked the boy to hand it back to him and the…
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