Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. “Well, Father,” began the old man. “At the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s…
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A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went: step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached…
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Three midgets were sitting at a tavern one afternoon. One of the midgets, sat quietly,staring at his hands for the longest time. Before long his friend asked him,” Hey, what the hell are you doing?” “Well”, he exclaimed, “I was just noticing that I have the smallest hands of anyone I have ever seen!” ” Oh yeah”, said his partner, “you think that’s bad you should see my feet” Just then the third midget returned from the restroom and questioned,…
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A little boy woke up crying and ran to see his mother. “Mummy, Mummy. A voice came to me in my sleep. It said that my grandmother would die today.” The mother comforted him and told him not to worry, it was only a dream. But when he came home from school, he found his mum crying. She said that her mother had died a few hours ago. That night the voice returned. This time it said that the house…
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One sunny summer day four rabbis are having a discussion on some part of the Torrah. Three agree on one explanation but the fourth one stands on the other. Being tired of this conversation he raises his arms and says, “God, give me a sign to prove that I’m right!” Suddenly, thunder clouds appear out of nowhere and cover the sky. The three other rabbis think for a while and say, “Nah, that’s just a coincidence” So, the rabbi raises…
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January 10: It’s 5pm. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in many years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so pristine and beautiful. Things could not be any better. January 11: We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a…
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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: WO (Varies HO depending on which periodic table is used) DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg. OCCURRENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states from virgin metal…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess was seated on the shore of a pond near her castle. As she combed her golden tresses in the reflection of the pristine water, a frog hopped into her lap and spoke to her. “Dearest Princess, I was once a handsome prince with a thousand servants and riches beyond your imagination. One day a beggar woman transformed me into this frog that you see before you, for she was indeed a witch. But…
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A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender: “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove…
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