Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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Two immigrants, new to America, are wandering around on their first day off the boat in New York City, seeing the sights. Pretty soon they realize it’s time for lunch and they’re hungry from walking around all morning. They see a street vendor selling hotdogs. The first immigrant says, “I can’t believe it! They eat dogs in America.” The second immigrant, although equally shocked, replies, “Well, we’re going to be Americans now, so we have to behave like Americans and…
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The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!” The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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One day the teacher is explaining to her class about morals. She tells them about how her grandfather would raise chickens and that each morning, he would go out, gather the eggs, put them into cartons and carry them to the supermarket to sale. One day he ran out of cartons, so he put all his eggs into a basket, put the basket onto the back of his truck, and headed into town. Along the way, he hit a pothole,…
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Dave is struggling through the Dallas airport terminal with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a man stops him and says “Pardon me, do you have the time?” Dave sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to three”, he says. “Thanks, that’s a pretty fancy watch”, says the man. Dave smiles. “Yes, I invented it. Check this out.”, and he shows him a time zone display, not just for every time zone on…
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they…
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An Eskimo newcomer just settled down on the outskirts of an Eskimo village. Since he was a stranger, he was not able to make friends that easily with his new neighbors. One day, a neighbor dropped by the newcomer’s igloo and said to the stranger, “I want to welcome you to the village but before you could be accepted as a member of this village, you will have to undergo three traditional initiation rites.” The Eskimo newcomer asked, “What are…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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