Time general Jokes - page 3

RAINY CROTCH

This real short girl went to the doctor one day and complained that every time it rained her crotch hurt. The doctor wanted to know how long this had been going on, and she said ever since she could remember. The doctor told her to come back on a rainy day so he could check it out. Sure enough, the next day it rained and she went back to the doctor. He advised her that he would have to give…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRAINY CROTCH

Iraqui Jokes

Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing, yet. Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off. Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52…F-16…B-2 Q: What is Iraq’s national bird? A: Duck Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIraqui Jokes

Grammatical Uses of the ‘F’ Word

Grammatical Uses of the Word Fuck Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “FUCK.” It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound can describe Pain, Pleasure, Love and Hate. In language, “FUCK” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck)…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGrammatical Uses of the ‘F’ Word

If Microsoft Was Jewish………..

1. Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error, your PC would get “Ferklempt”. 2. “Year 2000” issues are replaced by “Year 5760-5761” issues. 3. Hanukkah screen savers will have “Flying Dreidels”. 4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. 5. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours. 6. Your “Start” button would be replaced with a “Let’s go! I’m not getting any younger!” button. 7. “Abort, Retry, Ignore” would be replaced…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf Microsoft Was Jewish………..

TECHNIQUES ON BEING AN EFFECTIVE EMPLOYEE

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTECHNIQUES ON BEING AN EFFECTIVE EMPLOYEE

letter of recommendation

If you have to write a ‘letter of recommendation’ for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases: -For the chronically absent: A man like him is hard to find. It seemed her career was just taking off. -For the office drunk: I feel his real talent is wasted here. We generally found him loaded with work to do. Every hour with him was a happy hour. -For an employee with no ambition: He could not care less about…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokeletter of recommendation

Courage

An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts, “Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!”. Upon which the American (naturally) challenges him: “Oh yeah?”. The Russian says, “Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck and swim around the ship!” Yuri marches off into the freezing Atlantic without a word and does as he…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeCourage

Nice Guy Test

The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeNice Guy Test

Star Wars Pants

25 Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word “Pants”: 1) A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. 2) You are unwise to lower your pants. 3) We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. 4) She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeStar Wars Pants

Bathroom Policy

To: All Employees In the past, employees have been permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines, resulting in loss of employee time and production. Effective January 5, 1986, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent and precise method of accounting for each employee’s restroom time, as well as ensuring equal time for each employee. Under this policy, a Restroom Trip Bank (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBathroom Policy