Third man Jokes - page 10

Wishes and Dreams

A government employee sits in his office and, out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and takes it home with him. While he’s polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold beer right now!” He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can…

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BB Stew

A woman was making a stew and her husband walked and set his bee-bee gun down and put the package of pellets above the stove. As the woman was cooking, the package fell over and landed in the stew. She fishes the package out, and thought to herself, “It’ll be to much trouble to take the bee-bees out. I’ll just leave them in and no one will notice.” So she fed it to her family with no complaints. The next…

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Birth control method

There were several women sitting around talking at their weekly club meeting. The topic of birth control came up and they started comparing methods. The first woman said that she and her husband relied on the pill. It had been effective for them since they had started using it after their 4th child was born. The second woman said that she used the rhythm method. But she hated having to watch the calendar. The third woman said that she used…

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executive decision

Three women are up for promotion but the company only has one position to give. The boss decides to put an extra $100.00 in each one’s envelope to see how they react. The first woman says, “Wow, an extra $100.00! I’m going shopping!” The boss notes this. The second says, “An extra $100.00! I’m going to buy more company stock!” The boss notes this. Third says, “An extra $100.00! Payroll must have made an error. I’ll go straighten this out…

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The smartest blonde.

There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde…

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3 Foreigners in a Bar

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They all are talking about how much there lives suck, and how much the bars in their respective home towns are better. Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At MacDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!” The others agree that sounds like…

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The Sad Wife’s Wishes

One day a woman was walking along the beach thinking of the sad state of her life, for her husband had just told her that he wanted a divorce. As she was walking, she tripped over something in the sand. The woman picked the object up, revealing a lamp. The woman rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared before her. “I will grant you three wishes,” the genie said, “but whatever you wish for, your husband will get double.” The…

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SIX DOUBLE VODKAS

A guy walks into a bar one day and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow!” says the barman, “You must have had one hell of a day.” “Yep. I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy walks into the bar and asks for another six double vodkas. “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too,” he explains. On the third day, the guy walks into the…

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Texas 3 Kick Rule

A big-city, California, lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property,…

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Reunion Time

Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”

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