Third day Jokes - page 10

Summer Vacation

Three married couples had decided to take a cross country tour for the summer in a Winnebago trailer. They started in New York and on the early morning of day 7 they decided to stop at a bed and breakfast for a bite to eat. After the waitress brought their food the first hushand said, “Please pass the honey, Honey.” The second husband said to his wife, “Please pass the sugar, Sugar.” The third husband didn’t want to be out…

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Genie-ous

A couple is golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband says, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows – It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.” The wife tees up and promptly shanks it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringes and says, “I told you to watch out for the houses!…

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Little Johnny’s Defense

Wednesday morning, Little Johnny comes into class late. The teacher called him to her desk and said, “Johnny, This is the third time you’ve been tardy this week.” Thinking of a punishment she says, “I want you to make a sentence out of these three words: defense, deduct, and detail.” So at recess Johnny comes back into the room and tells her that he’s done. He recites it to her: “De head of de duck goes over de fence before…

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(Not so) happily ever after…

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when-all of a sudden-a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. “Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.” POOF Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. “And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” POOF She turns into…

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She was so blonde that….

She Was So Blond… …she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”. …she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. …she got stabbed in a shoot-out. …she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DONT WALK”. …she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. …she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. …she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. …she tried…

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How Contractors Bid

Three contractors were touring the White House on the same day. One was from New York, another from Missouri, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they each replied that they were contractors, the guard said, “Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you guys look at it and give me a bid.” So to the back fence they went. First…

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ELIZABETH TAYLOR

Elizabeth Taylor walks into her plastic surgeons office one day and says to him, ?Over the years I have had my boobs done, my butt done and my face done. Now I would like to have down below done.? So her doctor says, ?sure, that?s no problem.? Elizabeth replies ? but there?s just one thing…I ask of you and that is to keep this a secret from everyone. I am tired of the press and the public knowing about every…

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Read JokeELIZABETH TAYLOR