Teacher teacher Jokes - page 4

What Would I Be?

A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right, children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?” Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, “You’d be his wife!”

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Snot Nose Smith

A little girls begins her first day at a new school and the teacher tells her to stand up and tell everyone in the class her name. She stands up, faces the class and says loudly, “Snot Nose Smith!” “Young lady,” the teacher says impatiently. “This won’t be tolerated in my class, now say you correct name” “Snot Nose Smith!” She repeats. “Look here Miss Smith, this is your last chance. Now what is your real name?” “Snot Nose Smith!”…

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Kosher Jokes

1) What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? “Is ANYTHING all right?” 2) Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner. 3) How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? (Sigh) Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark, I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody. 4) Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to Sam’s car,…

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guessing game

One day during class, the teacher decided to play a guessing game with her students. She said, “I’ll hold something behind my back, give a couple of clues, and whoever guesses what it will win lunch on me.” “Okay,” the teacher said, “the first item is round, red, and has seeds.” Katie raised her hand said, “Is it an apple?” “Sorry Katie it’s not an apple, it’s a tomato, but I like the way your thinking.” “The second object is…

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Blueberry Hill

There was a kid that came in 30 min. late, so the teacher said, “Where were you?” He said, “I was on top of Blueberry Hill.” Another kid comes in 1 hour late, and the teacher says, “Where were you?” He said, “I was on top of Blueberry Hill.” Then a girl comes in an hour and a half late, and the teacher says, “Let me guess, you were on top of Blueberry Hill?” She said, “No, I AM Blueberry…

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Can You Spell That?

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Myrddin about his family trip. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota.” The teacher asked, “Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?” Little Myrddin thought for a few seconds and said, “Actually, we went to Ohio.”

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Anything for Profit

One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was.” An Irish boy raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.” Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.” Finally,…

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Lifesavers

A teacher was working with her pupils, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. One day she brought in rolls of lifesavers of all flavors. “Children,” she announced, passing out the lifesavers, “I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these and then tell me what they are.” The kids managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher gave them the honey-flavored lifesavers, every one of the kids was stumped. “I’ll give…

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Proverbs from the Mouths of Babes

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is is how they answered: It’s always darkest before……… daylight savings times. You can lead a horse to water but …..how? Don’t bite the hand that…..looks dirty. A penny saved is…….not much. Children should be seen and not….. spanked or grounded. There is no fool like…….Aunt Edie. Laugh and…

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Little Johnny’s Science Lesson

In school one day the teacher decided she would teach about materials in science class. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?” Little Richie raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.” The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie. Little Susie said, “I would…

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