Teacher teacher Jokes - page 17

Who discovered America?

The teacher is giving the class geography with a globe. She askes Peter if he can point out North America. Peter turns the globe for a few seconds, then answers correctly. “Very good, Peter,” the teacher praised. Then, turning to another boy, she asked, “Johnny, who discovered North America?” To that Johnny answers, “PETER!”

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Johnny Learns Anatomy

“For today’s science class, we’ll be looking at anatomy. I’ve brought in this dead cat so we can all have a look at how it functions,” started the science teacher. The teacher asks a bright young student sitting in the front row, “Can you tell me how the cat’s teeth stay in, young man?” “Sure! Its gums hold them in!” replies the kid. “Ok, someone else, how about the fur?” “Its skin holds it on!” replies another bright student. “Ok,…

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spelling bee

On the first day of school the teacher announces, “To get to know the class better, I’d like each child to tell us their name, what their father does for a living, spell it, and if he were here what would he give the class?” The first boy says, “Hi, my name is Johhny. My daddy is a baker, B-A-K-E-R and if my father was here he would give the class a muffin.” Next girl says, “Hi, my name is…

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Spelling in school…

After the grade-school class comes back inside, the teacher asks Alice, “What did you do at recess?” Alice says, “I played in the sandbox.” “That’s nice,” the teacher says. “If you can go to the blackboard and write ‘sand’ correctly, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” Alice does, and she gets a cookie. Then the teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, “I played in the sandbox with Alice.” The teacher says, “Good. If you can write…

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Yours for Life

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.” From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”

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Kindergarten Homework Assignment

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and reltate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. “It’s a period”, said the little boy. “Well,…

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The Classifieds

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual…

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3 kids in class

There were three students in a classroom. A white boy, a black boy, and a Mexican boy. The teacher said, “Now, everybody make a sentence using the words chees and liver.” The white boy went first and said, “Last night for dinner I ate some cheese and liver.” Then the black boy said, “My brother stole some cheese and got shot in the liver.” Last, the Mexican boy said, “Cheese me sister so liver alone.”

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Little Johnny Quickies

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! ——————————————————- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. ——————————————————- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. ——————————————————- Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…

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deductive reasoning

A man moved into a new neighborhood that was going to teach deductive reasoning at the college. When he got to his house he met his neighbor and they were talking about why he moved there. The new neighbor told him he was going to teach deductive reasoning at the college, and his neighbor asked him what it was. The new guy said, “Let me give you an example, I saw in your backyard that you have a doghouse.” The…

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