Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…
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Subject:UPCOMING MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL Lockheed F-16 Fighting Falcon – $25 million dollars Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk Stealth Fighter – $45 million dollars. Boeing B-52 Stratofortress – $74 million dollars. Brand new B-2 Stealth Bomber – $2.1 billion dollars. A decent map of downtown Belgrade. * Priceless. There are some things that money can’t buy… For the rest, there’s MasterCard, the official card of the 19 member NATO alliance and those who believe that sometimes you just need to blow up something in…
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Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer? A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker. Q: What do engineers use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer? A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own. Q: Why did the engineers cross the road? A: Because they looked in the file and that’s what they did last year. Q:…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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George accosted his neighbor and asked, “Hey, Jerry, do you like middle-aged women with thin, wispy mustaches?” “Of course not,” replied Jerry emphatically. “Do you like women who are so fat that they look like they’re pregnant?” “I wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole,” Jerry avowed steadfastly. “How about women with breasts sagging down to their navels?” “Yuck! Absolutely not! They don’t turn me on,” Jerry declared resolutely. “Then tell me this. Why are you screwing around with my…
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really?! How do you know that?” the teacher asked. “You know–‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven….’”
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid…
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As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…
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Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill. Has won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running. When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeeez!” 295 times during the movie “The Net.” Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. Their video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons. Instead of the “Welcome”…
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10. Her sweatshirts all say “PineSol Just Do it” 9.Kitchen utensils used by Mayo Clinic 8.When you walk through house she follows you like member of Olympic Curling Team 7. Likes to wear same outfit worn by Dustin Hoffman in “Outbreak” 6. Bathroom mirror could be used as lens in Hubble Space Telescope 5. Uses broomsticks for firewood 4. dog’s name is “Ajax” 3. Guest room is used Apollo astronaut quarantine chamber 2. Garage is car wash And the number…
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