mexican olympics?
Why doesn’t mexico have an Olympic team? Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are over here.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Tea Jokes - page 61
Archeology
A team of archaeologists were working when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists…
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Speaks Perfect Yiddish
These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli, frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and, in fluent, impeccable Yiddish, asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth. The Jewish men are dumbfounded. “Where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?” they are both thinking. After they pay the bill, they ask the manager of the store,…
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deductive reasoning
A man moved into a new neighborhood that was going to teach deductive reasoning at the college. When he got to his house he met his neighbor and they were talking about why he moved there. The new neighbor told him he was going to teach deductive reasoning at the college, and his neighbor asked him what it was. The new guy said, “Let me give you an example, I saw in your backyard that you have a doghouse.” The…
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Lots of Little Johnny jokes
Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! —- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. —- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. —- Teacher; Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…
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Little Johnny Knows The Awful Truth
In school, Little Johnny was told by his classmate that every adult had a dark deep secret and it was easy to blackmail them by just saying, “I know the whole truth.” So, when Little Johnny got home after school, he went straight to his mother and told her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother turned pale and gave Little Johnny $20.00 telling him not to tell his father. Pleased with his new caper, Little Johnny waited for his…
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Religion and Sports
Three men were coming out of an interfaith meeting at their local convention center. One of the men was a Jew, one was a Catholic, and one was a Mormon. They began talking about their respective families and the Jewish man said with smug pride, “I have four sons, one more and I can form my own basketball team.” The Catholic man, not to be outdone, boasted, “Well, my wife and I have been blessed with ten sons. One more…
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20 ‘Inspirational’ Poster Lines
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings…they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is…
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Correcting Little Johnny’s Grammar
During recess, Little Johnny was seen crying in the corner of the classroom. So his teacher Mrs. Smith approached Little Johnny to ask why he was crying. Between sobs, Little Johnny said, “Billy hitted me in the head!” Being a teacher, Mrs. Smith could not resist correcting Little Johnny’s grammar. So she said, “Billy hit me in the head.” Little Johnny then stopped crying and smiled as he said, “You too? Boy, that Billy is in BIG trouble now!”
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1st time
It’s your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within…
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