Tea Jokes - page 24

Moving

A guy has a friend who just moved his business. He decided to get a nice bouquet of flowers for his friend as a gift. He called the flower shop, they took his order, and he thought everything was great. Two weeks later, this guy gets an invitation to come to his friend’s open house, celebrating the new location. This fellow goes to the open house and it is packed. Instead of trying to find his friend immediately, the guy…

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I had a dream

This joke was originally created by my industrial arts teacher: One night I was working on a car. I was tired so I had a dream that I was a muffler. When I woke up, I was exhausted.

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Little Johnny & the taste test

One day a third grade teacher was giving a guessing test to her students. She told them to close their eyes, while she put an item of food in their mouth. She told Bobby to close his eyes and open his mouth. She put an orange slice in his mouth and said, “Tell me what it is.” Bobby said an orange slice. She said, “You win.” She told Jane to do the same and she put a Hershey’s kiss in…

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Spousal Faxes

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before…

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One Night in a Hotel

Once there was a bellhop named Joe. and one day, three newlywed couples came to stay for a while. The first couple walked in, and Joe noticed that the wife was a nurse. He thought, “Wow, what a lucky guy. Nurses are supposed to be really pretty. I think I’ll stay up late and eavesdrop on their room.” Then the next couple came in, and Joe noticed the wife was a telephone operator. He thought, “Wow, what a lucky guy.…

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Memo from Microsoft

Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…

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18 bottles of Whisky

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of…

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A True Story: Real Genius

Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…

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School

Young Boy to Teacher: Listen, Miss Gray, I don’t wanna scare you, but my dad said if I don’t get better grades on my next report card, somebody’s gonna be in very big trouble.

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