Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day at Little Bastard Elementary school, the children were at class in Mrs. Little’s class. She told the class that there was to be a special type of quiz that day and if you got your question right, you could go home early. “Alright class, who said ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country’?” Little Suzy rose her hand and answered John Kennedy, so she was dismissed. “Now, who…
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1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. 2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two. 3. When giving directions, finish with “it’s right down yonder on the left.” 4. Talk REALLY slowly, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand what they’re saying. 5. When they talk about how great it is up north, tell them “Delta’s ready when you are.” 6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. 7. Refer to every…
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A fifth grader was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher….”I mean how many MEMBERS does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches, anyway?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall, and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says, “I”ve had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!”
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A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?” she inquires. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”…
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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent on a mission to find an airplane that had crashed on top of a mountain. It was their duty to rescue any survivors. After finally reaching the top of the mountain, they came upon the crash site. At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue…
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A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. A little boy playing in the sand looked up at her and said, “Lady, if you’re going to drown those puppies, I’ll take the one with the brown nose.”
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Tech Support calls “YOU” for help. When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL.” When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response. You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there’s nothing there. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. You have called out someone’s screen name while making…
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Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father. “The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3?’ I said ‘6’.” “But that’s right!” “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?’” “What’s the fucking difference?” “That’s exactly what I said.”
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