Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”
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Three Italian mothers were attending a football game. Each had a son playing on the same team. At the start of the game, the first boy saw his opportunity, grabbed the ball and running quickly, out-foxed the opposing team, making the first touchdown. His mother, obviously proud of her son, sprang from the bleachers, shouting in her broken Italian accent, “Thatsa *my* boy! I raised him onna de Pet milk. Ain’t he-a Peach?” Soon, the second boy received the ball…
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RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…
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Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is William Jefferson Clinton and I’m the President of the United States. And right now I’m going trough some minor legal problems that you may or may not have heard about, and these legal problems are probably going to force me out of office sooner or later and that got me thinking the other day. When I’m out of office I’m going to need some sort of steady income to support my family,…
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A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, “Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?” The other guy says, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with…
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1. Home is where you hang your @. 2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach an old mouse new clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. C:\ is the root of all directories. 8. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. 9. Pentium wise, pen…
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So it seems that this reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about the people and their land. He meets an old man in a secluded village, and over a cup of the local brew asks him about the memorable events of his life. After a bit of thought, the old man says, “Well, there was this time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked, all…
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The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, Mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat, and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping; and, besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle, and I have to hobble…
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JOE USED TO GO TO SCHOOL VERY DIRTY AND SHABBY. ONE DAY THE TEACHER SENT HIM BACK HOME WITH A NOTE”SEE THAT JOE TAKES A BATH EVERY DAY” NEXT DAY THE BOY CAME BACK IN THE SAME CONDITION BUT WITH A DIFFERENT NOTE”TEACH HIM DON’T SMELL HIM”
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