Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together. “Oh, this is terrible,” exclaims St. Peter. “I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those rare coincidences that happen. Since we we’re not expecting you, your quarters just aren’t ready. We can’t take you in, and we can’t send you back” Then he got an idea. He…
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Peter was going on his first flight and he was so nervous about flying that the stewartess had to ask the pilot to talk to him to calm him down. “Look, Pete” the pilot said, “there’s really nothing to be worried about, this is the safest plane in the sky!” “Really?” Peter said with a gleam of hope in his eyes. “Yeah, so just relax, lay back, have a few drinks, get drunk and pass out, and the flight will…
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Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some “unusual” picture in mind. So she starts with Jane. Jane: “This is our House” /\ / \ / \ / \ | | | | | | | | The teacher: “Good, Jane!” and asks…
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On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven’s Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he left. The couple…
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Two women, one a blonde and the other a brunette, walk into the supermarket to buy some groceries. From a distance, the blonde spots a handsome guy who is known by both women. She then calls out, “Hey, Dick! Yoohoo, Dick!” However, the guy ignores her calls and moves on. The brunette nudges the blonde and says, “That guy’s name is Peter!” “Oh,” says the blonde. “I knew it was somewhat similar.”
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This couple are just married and they go to their hotel suite. The groom is really pumped up. It’s his wedding night and he’s finally going to get some. They get to their room and he’s ready to pounce on his bride, having already stripped. She stops him and says she’s starving and would he run down to vending machine and get her a Snickers. He says, “But I’m already naked!” She says “Please I just know that I’ll be…
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, “You’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcomed. Soon, the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell; he begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls…
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A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! “What was that?” she asks. “Oh, it’s nothing,” says Saint Peter, “It’s just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.” A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this…
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Once upon a time three nuns died and went to heaven. It was very bright and beautiful. They met St. Peter at the front gate. He said, “The only way you can get into heaven is if you answer three questions. One question for each of you.” The three nuns agreed. St. Peter began to the first nun, “What was the Immaculate conception?” “Why, it’s Mary being told that Jesus was going to be born, St. Peter,” said the first…
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A guy dies and goes to heaven. It?s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, ?I?m not very busy today, why don?t you let me show you around?? The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.…
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