Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…
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A man was brought into the hospital care ward, put in a bed, had tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking, etc., for a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say: “Scottish.” The other signaled he had heard, raised his own hand and said: “Irish.” This act tired them out so badly…
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1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…
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Joe went to the doctor to complain that the fertility drugs weren’t working. Despite the frequent use of said drugs he could not get his wife pregnant. The doctor took some tests and came back looking worried. “I have good news and bad news,” said the Doc. “The tests have shown that the drugs haven’t had the desired effect and you to have a sperm count of one.” “What’s the good news?” said a worried Joe. “That was the good…
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Three hillbillies decided to buy a pig to enter in the county fair. After they had the pig for about a year the thing didn’t gain any weight. So the hillbillies decided to put a cork in the pig’s ass. After about 6 months the pig was ready for the fair, gaining a good 150-200 lbs. They went to the fair and won First Place. The hillbillies went home and one of them said, “We gotta take out the cork…
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Two men were going to go on a journey by rail. They’d never been on a train before and were rather nervous. They decided to take some oranges on the train with them, as eating oranges might help take their minds off the journey. The men bought their tickets and got on board. They bought the cheapest tickets, which were for the third class carriage. Third class had bare wooden seats and no lights. In spite of this, thetwo men…
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INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older, he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. “The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to…
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Two babies were in a hospital laying next to each other. The first kid leaned over and asked, “What are you in here for?” The second kid said,” I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid said, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a piece…
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John Jones, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment review describing Bob Smith, one of his programmers. 1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5. finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended 6. measures to complete his work, sometimes…
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