Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
When three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. The Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how WE used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Grandmom smiled and then replied, “I do remember, why do you think I bought it?”
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Children were called upon in class to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words “Defeat,” “Defense,” “Deduct,” and “Detail.” Jack stood thinking for a bit, all eyes focused on him, while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, “DEFEAT of DEDUCT went over DEFENSE before DETAIL!!!”
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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A SNOW DIARY DECEMBER 4 – 5:00 It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. DECEMBER 9 – We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and…
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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On the campaign trail, the mayor running for re-election walks up to a house of his campaign adviser and rings the doorbell. When a small boy opens the door, the mayor introduces himself, “Hello there, little boy! What’s your name?” “Little Johnny,” replies the small boy. “Well, Little Johnny, I’m Mayor Hoffman. I’m running for re-election. Can I speak to your father?” “He’s in the shower right now,” answers Little Johnny with a giggle. “Oh! Well, is your mother in…
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Two people in their mid-seventies have been seeing each other socially for nearly two years. They have even traveled together but always took separate hotel rooms. One evening at dinner, old Bert says to Edna, “I been thinking, and we’re wasting a heluva lot of money. We pay rent on two apartments, insurance on two cars, two cable bills, two phones…there ain’t no end to it.” “What are you saying, Bert?” asks Edna sweetly. “Hell, we should move in together”…
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God and St. Peter go down to the golf course on a nice Sunday afternoon. As they go to tee-off, God motions for Peter to start. Peter’s a bit surprised, but he sets up and takes his shot. He hits a nice drive right onto the green. When God takes his shot, however, he doesn’t get nearly as nice a drive. A sharp hook takes the ball right into the rough. Peter asks God “What happened?” God just smiles as…
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Bill Holbrook, the janitor at the wealthiest church in town, ordered some cleaning supplies from the hardware store. When they arrived, the driver asked Bill to sign for them. Bill went into the pastor’s office and asked the pastor to sign for them. Puzzled, the pastor told Bill to sign for them. “I can’t,” said Bill. “I can’t read or write.” “Well,” replied the pastor, “I’m going to have to let you go, Bill. I’m sorry but we can’t have…
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I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…
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