Slut Jokes - page 2

Bar Talk Interpretations

No, really, I’m O.K. to drive… – I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I’m going with I’m not used to these darts… – I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I’m this bombed. Let’s go out to my car and get some cigarettes…(male to female) – You would look great face down in my lap. Want to check out my new car stereo? (male to female) – I have…

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male comebacks to female comebacks

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I…

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Penetanguishene

Two blondes were vacationing in Ontario, Canada when they drove past a roadsign which said PENETANGUISHENE 30 km. They argued for the next twenty minutes about how to pronounce Penetanguishene when the driver said to her friend, “You’re just an ignorant slut, Candy.” And Candy replied “And you’re just a stubborn donkey-fucker, Gloria.” And Candy said, “Let’s have lunch.” So, inside the restaurant, Gloria said to the guy behind the counter, “Hey, Sport, do us a favor and pronounce where…

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Why Bras Are Better Than Men

They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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The Difference Between Potential and Reality

Last week my son came up to me and asked me the difference between potential and reality. I told him to go to his mum and ask if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, and then to go to his sister, and ask if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. He did just that. He went up to my wife and said, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million?” to which she…

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