Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Zack volunteered for military service during WWII. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeros. Then, climbing up…
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One morning a young 3 year old boy sat at the kitchen table in front of a bowl of cereal, thinking. When his mother noticed his thoughtful expression she thought it better not to disturb him. Later that afternoon the boy was still sitting there with a very concentrated expression. His mother was then curious but then decided just to leave him there. That night at dinner, he was still sitting at the table, chin in hand, with great thought…
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Two men were talking about their lives one day, while driving to a boat show. One of the men was single, and the other was married with two children. They crashed into an incoming 18- wheeler and died on impact. When they went to heaven’s waiting room, Peter told the single man he was not allowed in heaven, but let the married man in. The single guy, frustrated and mad, asked Peter why he let the married man in but…
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A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, “Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.” “No problem! I’ll write you a check!” “Very good, sir.” says…
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Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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What does your profession say about you? ======================================= 1. MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2. SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like…
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One morning, Yale University Professor of English John Berdan read to his English composition class a particularly inept theme and, as usual, called for comments. The students panned it unmercifully. “Interesting,” commented Berdan, “because I wrote the theme myself.” As the critics began to blush, he continued, “You are quite right. This theme is incredibly bad. I spent two hours of painstaking effort last night to make sure I had not omitted a single feature of poor writing, and I…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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