Sex don Jokes - page 3

Camping Adventures

Two guys go on a camping trip up into the mountains, and they have a wonderful time. By about the fourth day, however, they’ve run out of things to talk about and are starting to get on each others nerves. So on the fourth night, as they’re having dinner, one of the guys makes a suggestion to his friend. “Look, we’ve been having a pretty good time up here, but let’s face it…after four days together we’ve run out of…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCamping Adventures

Fighting Back

After all the men bashing jokes, it time to FIGHT BACK!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeFighting Back

Women’s Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines

Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWomen’s Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines

It’s Tax Time!

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.” Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeIt’s Tax Time!

Similarities between Clinton and Nixon

Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Water Bed Nixon: His biggest fear – the Cold War Clinton: His biggest fear – a Cold Sore Nixon: Carpet bombing Clinton: Carpet burning Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek Clinton: His Vice President is a geek Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her Nixon: Couldn’t explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape Clinton: Couldn’t explain the 36-DD bra in his brief case Nixon: His nickname Tricky Dick Clinton: No difference Nixon: Ex-President…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSimilarities between Clinton and Nixon

Good advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGood advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

50 Reasons to be a Woman

1.Free drinks. 2.Free dinners. 3.Free movies (you get the point). 4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you’re gay. 5.You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU’RE gay. 6.You know ‘The Truth’ about whether size matters. 7.Speeding ticket? What’s that? 8.New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. 9.You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. 10.If you have sex with someone and don’t call them…

(1)Loading...

Read Joke50 Reasons to be a Woman

A New Italian Opera!

CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA New Italian Opera!

Even More ‘Ran-dumb’ Thoughts

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. Corduroy pillows: They’re making “headlines”! Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Who is “Gen. Failure,” and why is he reading my hard disk? I poured spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Why do psychics have to ask for your name? Wear short…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeEven More ‘Ran-dumb’ Thoughts

THE CURE

Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative. His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him. After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office. “Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTHE CURE