Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?” The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Van Gogh of Jail”. Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?” The first convict…
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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well anymore. So I sent her a…
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Three football fans were driving down the road together, when they spied something laying on the side of the road. Upon investigating, they discovered a dead young woman, who was lying face up, and competely nude. The first football fan removed his Green Bay Packers cap and placed it over her right breast. The second football fan removed his San Francisco 49er cap and placed it over her left breast. The third football fan removed his Dallas Cowboys cap and…
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Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…
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PRESIDENT CLINTON DIED AND WENT TO HELL. AT THE GATE HE WAS MET BY THE DEVIL. THE DEVIL SAID, “YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES ON HOW YOU WILL SPEND ETERNITY. THE FIRST BEING YOU CAN RULE YOUR OWN WORLD. THE SECOND IS YOU CAN BE THE ONLY MAN IN A WORLD OF WOMEN.” THINKING OUT LOUD, PRESIDENT CLINTON SAID, “WELL I RULED THE WORLD AS PRESIDENT, BUT EVERY TIME I TRIED TO GET A PIECE OF ASS, KEN STARR HAD TO…
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family’s faith to class. At the appropriate time, she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, “I am Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.” The second child said, “I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.” The third child said, “I am Catholic, and this is…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful…
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