Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On day a man was walking on the beach when he came upon a brass lamp. “I wonder if this is a magic lamp,” he said to himself and began to rub the lamp furiously. A cloud of smoke rose out and a Genie was standing before him. “Three Wishes are yours,” the Genie said “but whatever you wish for your mother-in-law gets double” The man thought long and hard. The last thing he wanted to do was give his…
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Three women were stranded on a deserted island. All of sudden a bottle washed upon the shore. One of the women picked up the bottle and rubbed it. A genie appeared and offered the three women three wishes (one wish apiece). The first woman wished to be 10 times smarter. The genie snapped his fingers and she became 10 times smarter. She built a raft out of wood on the island and sailed off. The second woman wished to be…
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Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It had to be a mechanical engineer…look at all the joints.” The second said, “No, it must have been an electrical engineer…the central nervous system is a miracle of millions of electrical connections.” The third said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline right through a recreational area?”
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying:…
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Talk about huge breasts! Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist! It’s Cool Whip time. If I don’t undo my pants I’ll burst. Whew, that’s a terrific spread I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. Are you ready for seconds yet? It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it? Just wait your turn, you’ll get some. Don’t play with your meat. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in. Do you think you’ll…
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A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…
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Three boys save President Bush’s life. President Bush says to them, “Boys, you can have anything your little hearts desire.” The first boy asks for a Game Boy and every game ever made for it. President Bush says, “You got, little man.” The second boy asks for a Playstation 2 and a pony. President Bush says, “You’ll have ’em by tommorow.” The third boy asks for a wheelchair with a built-in Playstation and freezer. President Bush asks the boy, “Why…
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Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here’s what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free … if she follows you everywhere you go, she pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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After having their 12th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger double-wide. The husband then went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children but they couldn’t afford a costly operation, either. The doctor told him that there was a home procedure called a redneck vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb,…
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