Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Your mama is so fat: :When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. :When she dances she makes the band skip. :When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. :She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (
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My friend’s sister was to be married on short notice, but still wanted an elaborate wedding. The invitations were ready to be mailed when someone noticed that there were no inserted cards inviting guests to the reception. Undaunted, the mother of the bride typed up a note, made 280 copies and enclosed one with each formal invitation. Family and friends were a bit shocked to read: “Conception immediately following the ceremony in the Grand Ballroom of the Holiday Inn. Everyone…
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EuroEnglish The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants…
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01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…
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There is a parrot that swore like a sailor. He could swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. The…
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Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pee sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw…
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Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…
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God’s Human DNA Code For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism’s DNA seems to serve any useful function. I have solved the mystery. The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments. Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows: ===/* HUMAN_DNA.H * * Human Genome * Version 2.1 * * (C)…
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This might prove that Bill Gates has a sense of humor. 1. Open a new Word (for Windows 95 ver 7.0) document. 2. Type in “I’d like to see you naked” without the quotes. 3. Highlight it and look it up in the Thesaurus. 4. Enjoy
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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