S sales Jokes - page 5

Here’s looking at you

An extremely well endowed receptionist was primly seated at the front desk of a leading provider of Internet services and help. As was the policy of the Company – there were no dress codes allowed. Knowing that she might be able to attract a future husband in this well situated position and knowing that she would not be chastised for her appearance, she elected to wear a rather low cut blouse when she was at work. One day a very…

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Plane Fright

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and, with a nervous laugh, says, “Reverend, you’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this storm?” The minister replies, “Lady, I’m in sales, not management.”

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Got Milk?

A salesman’s car breaks down, so he asks a farmer to let him spend the night. The farmer then tells the salesman, “Well, if you’re not picky, you can spend the night in the barn.” The salesman agrees to do so. In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up and is really thirsty, so he decides to get some milk from a cow. Soon, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn and goes to investigate. Upon entering…

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Your Profession and You

What does your profession say about you? ======================================= 1. MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2. SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like…

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Cure for the Common Cough

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then, a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob’s warning, he sold the man a box…

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Bragging rights

Four men went golfing together one day; the three men started for the first tee while the other went to pay his bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home – for free!” The second man said “My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that…

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Don & Mario

Don and Mario went to spend a weekend in the forest, hunting bear. They hired a log cabin, and when they got there, took their backpacks off and put them inside. “You unpack while I go and find us a bear,” Don says to Mario. The analyst finished unpacking and then went and sat outside to await events. He did not have to wait too long. Soon he could hear noises in the forest. The noise grew nearer…and suddenly there…

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Selling Bibles

One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…

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Auto I.D.

Be on the lookout for the following personalities last seen cruising in these automobiles… A Pyromaniac in a Blazer… A barber in a Seville… A seamstress in a Dart… An insurance adjuster in an Acclaim… A construction worker in a Bobcat… A creature in a black Laguna… A theater manager in a Marquis… An astronomer in an Eclipse… An exterminator in a Beetle… A spiritualist in an Aurora… An orator in a Civic… A country singer in a blue Neon……

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The Missing Clock

A man passed away and went to Heaven. Upon arriving at the pearly gates, St. Peter said, “Come on in. I’ll show you around. I really think you’ll like it here.” Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.Surprised at how Heaven looked, the man asked St. Peter “what’s the deal with all the clocks?” St. Peter replied, “they keep track of everybody on…

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