Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jeffery was a maintenance man for a big-time broadway production company. He was the guy who went around sweeping the floors after hours. One day, though, Jeffery was approached by one of the big time directors, a man dressed all in black, with a megaphone hung limply in his left arm. “Jeffery,” he said, “I have some news for you. We’re putting on a gigantic production about the Civil War tomorrow. One of my men came down with the flu…
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While the U.S. stock market was at an all-time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. He was amazed and asked, “Really? Even with all the fluctuations?” He said, “Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours.”
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A man had a big dance comming up but the problem was he didn’t know how to dance. So he went to a dance studio. The instructor told him to pretend that there is a 10 cent piece on his right shoulder and that he must try to touch the coin with his earlobe in time to the music. So the guy went home and practiced this all week long. The next week the instructor told him to do the…
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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
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A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads, “I need 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well.” The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold,…
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Joe is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafing through his files to see if Joe is worthy of entry. “Joe,” says St. Pete, “I can’t see that you’ve done anything really bad in your life but I can’t see that you’ve done anything really good that would qualify you for Heaven. Can you tell me ANY good deed you’ve ever done?” Joe thinks for a moment and says “Sure. I was driving through…
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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…
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Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…
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Judi was driving home one night when she was caught in a bad hail storm. The stones were as big as golf balls. Her car was dented pretty bad. Balking at the price to fix it, Judi was told by the repair shop guy, a smartass by trade, (noticing her bright blonde hair) to blow into the tailpipe REAL HARD when she got home, the dents would pop out. When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe,…
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10. I think of you as a brother.(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to do my dad.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m…
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