Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Several years ago, I returned home from a business trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Stacey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the kids, explaining that it was “OK” to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad,…
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It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through…
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Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong) Sign on an airport runway: All baggage carts must yield to oncoming planes. Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don’t ring bell. Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less. Sign in a 1 hour eyeglass store: 20/20 in 60 Minutes. Sign in a funeral parlor: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Grave digger’s motto: We are the last ones to put you down. Sign in a dentist’s…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…
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Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…
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1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…
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The cleaning crew was cleaning the lobby of an impressive hotel. They cleaned around a guest who had obviously imbibed a bit much, to the point where he was sprawled across several chairs, his clothes were in disarray, and he was moaning gently. They went on and cleaned the rest of the hotel, and as they were ending their shift 8 hours later, one of the crew (his name was Joe) noticed the drunk hadn’t moved. Joe thought about it…
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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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There is a father who is very proud of his son because he is turning 21. There is only one thing wrong. The son is just a head. No torso, no arms, no legs, just a head. His father brings his son to a bar on the night of his 21st birthday. The father is just gleaming with pride and so he orders a beer for his son. His son drinks up, and poof, magically he has arms. The father,…
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