Rest of the day Jokes - page 4

Bigger Breasts at Any Cost

Once there was this woman who was, sad to say, very flat chested. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted women walking away with handsome guys finally got the best of her. She decided that she would have large tits at any cost. At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She went everywhere,…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeBigger Breasts at Any Cost

Pardon Me!

A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger. After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into…

(8)Loading...

Read JokePardon Me!

40 years together

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874 in small bills.…

(2)Loading...

Read Joke40 years together

You know you’re from Minnesota when….

You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. “Down south” to you means Iowa. Snow tires came standard on your car. You have no concept of public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer. People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them. You know what and where Dinkytown is. You have no problem…

(20)Loading...

Read JokeYou know you’re from Minnesota when….

Hokey Pokey

Today, there was a great loss in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song “Hokey Pokey” died. What was really horrible was that they had trouble keeping his body in the casket. They’d put his left leg in and… well, you know the rest.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHokey Pokey

Computer Instructions

Isn’t it amazing just how sophisticated computers are becoming? Just the other day, I was looking at the newest ones at COMP USA. I saw one which REALLY caught my eye. Instead of an Owner’s Manual, the operating instructions consisted of a SINGLE sheet of paper, printed on only ONE side. The sheet read, “If you have trouble operating this computer in any way, please do the following: 1. Locate the nearest 12-year-old child. 2. LISTEN to what s/he says.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeComputer Instructions

If Men Were to Rewrite

Rule #1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule #2: If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret Girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule #3: If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule #4: It is neither in your…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeIf Men Were to Rewrite

The World is Populated by Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…

(6)Loading...

Read JokeThe World is Populated by Idiots

Stupid People Should Advertise

Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, “I’M STUPID!” That would save the rest of us “normal” folks a lot of headaches. We wouldn’t rely on them or expect much from them. It would be like, “Oh, excuse me. Never mind. I just noticed your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, “Hey, you moving?”…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeStupid People Should Advertise

Special Courses for Women

Continuing Education Courses For Women 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.. 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.. 3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.. 4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.. 5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.. ] 6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.. 7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.. 8. Valuation:…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSpecial Courses for Women