Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks…
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
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A middle-aged man had an obsession with women’s breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem. “I am going to do a word association test, explained the doctor. I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that comes into your mind.” “Oranges,” said the doctor. “Breasts,” replied the patient. “Apples.” “Breasts.” “Watermelons.” “Breasts.” “Windshield wipers.” “Breasts,” said the patient, with the same reply. “Wait a minute! I can…
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A MAN IS LOST IN THE DESERT HE IS CLAIMING FOR WATER. THEN OUT OF THE GROUND THE DEVIL POPS UP. HE ASKS THE MAN TO GIVE UP HIS SOUL. THE MAN REPLYS NO. THE DEVIL SAYS, IF YOU CAN MAKE AN ASS OUT OF ME I WILL LET YOU LIVE. IF YOU DONT I WILL KILL YOU. SO THE MAN SAY OK TO THE DEVIL.M THE DESPRETE MAN LOOK ALL AROUND HIM AND FINDS AN EMPTY CAN. HE POKES…
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One night a married woman awoke to a moaning sound and found her husband wasn’t in bed with her. Getting worried the woman went downsairs but to no avail could she find her husband. She was ready to go back to bed when she heard the moaning sob again, only it was coming from the basement. After going down into the basement she found her husband balled up in a corner crying his eyes out. When she asked him what…
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One day a Jewish son came home from college and told his dad that he had converted to Christianity. His father went to his Rabbi and said, “My son went away for awhile and came back a Christian. What shall I do?” The Rabbi said in reply, “Well, you see, the same thing happened to my son. We shall pray to God and ask what we should do.” So the man and the Rabbi prayed to God. “God, our sons…
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The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged. “Sorry, Madam,” came the reply, “but the house does not make doctor calls.”
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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that, the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin.…
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A little boy asked his father what was the highest number he had ever counted. Replying that he didn’t know, the father asked his son his highest number. It was 973. “Why did you stop there?” “Because church was over.”
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An Avon lady gets on to an elevator after going door to door in a high-rise apartment complex. After going back down three floors, she rips the loudest most foul-smelling fart anyone’s ever done figuring no one would get on with her. The elevator stops at the next floor. Thinking fast she pulls out a bottle of a pine-scented fragrance and sprays it all over the elevator as much as she can before the door opens. A man got on…
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