Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together. “Oh, this is terrible,” exclaims St. Peter. “I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those rare coincidences that happen. Since we we’re not expecting you, your quarters just aren’t ready. We can’t take you in, and we can’t send you back” Then he got an idea. He…
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Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…
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A six-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord”s Prayer at a church service: “And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us.”
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When a football team loses, they should at least lose uniquely… The Packers have been boxed up. The Steelers were smelted. The Redskins were thrown off the reservation. The Cowboys got scalped. The Jaguars were poached. The Seahawks got plucked. The Broncos were sent to the glue factory. The Giants fell off the beanstalk. The Dolphins got caught in the tuna net. and finally… The Jets crashed.
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Cindy Crawford, Ivana Trump, and Whoopi Goldberg are on a plane. The Announcement system clicks to life and the voice of the captain rings through the cabin… “Ladies and gentilemen, I am afaraid the plane has just had a major mechanical failure, and is going to crash. There are only enough parachutes for the crew and myself, and we have already used them – – This is a recording.” Everyone on the plane begins to panic! People are yelling and…
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And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and…
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plan you right here! 2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw. 3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good. 4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be. 5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can…
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Poland’s Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
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First- Get three pieces of paper. Write down your three favorite numbers on each peice. Then subtract your birth date, and add the number of letters in your first name. Now, here’s the tricky part… put all the pieces of paper on top of each other and tear it down the middle(not through the writing). You now have six pieces of paper, repeat the following step. Now one by one lay all the pieces of paper crisscrosed in the bottom…
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