Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bill Clinton and Al Gore are being flown by Bill Gates in his private plane. The plane crashes and all three are killed. The three ascend to heaven and are met by The Lord. God first asks Gore what he believes. Gore says, “I believe humankind has really messed up the bounteous and beautiful planet that You gave to them. They should be taught to care for it better.” God said he liked Gore’s answer and asked him to take…
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A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are interested in each other because they are giving each other “looks.” Soon, the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound…
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It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn’t. Santa was really angry. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a…
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Q: What do you get when a Low Rider crashes with a Police Car? A: Pork and Beans.
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There were these three guys, a White man, a African-American man, and a Portuguese guy. (Here in Hawaii we make fun of Portagees!) They all died in a terrible car crash and went to Heaven. They thought it was great! But there was only one big rule, you could not step on any of the ducks or you’d have to spend the rest of the day with an ugly woman. One day, the African-American and the Portagee were walking around…
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Why would you ever want to remarry an ex-spouse? It’s like finding some sour milk in your fridge, putting it in the trash for a couple of days, and then wondering, “Gee, I wonder if it’ll taste any better now.”
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1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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Danny McGuire came home from work to find his lovely bride sitting in the living room still in her bathrobe. “Kate, my wife,” he says, “whatever is the matter? Yer still in yer robe.” “Ah Danny,” says she, “tis poorly I’m feeling. I didn’t know what to do so I called Doc McDonald. ‘I’ll need a specimen,’ he says and hung up. Danny, I don’t know what a specimen is.” “Ah lass, I don’t know either, but if you high…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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