Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Support Cannibalism – EAT ME! 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bastard. Women like you made me this way. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?…
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There is one guy who needs to get to the airport within half an hour.It takes 45 minutes to get there, so he asks a cab driver ,”Can you get me to the airport within half an hour?” The cab driver says ,”With seven dollars i can.” The guy says “Ok.” So they go, on the way theres a red light ,when the driver sees it he slams the gas. The guy in the back asks the driver ,”What in…
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Santasingh and BantaSingh wanted to go camping. They attached the trailer to the car. SantaSingh wanted to make sure that the car is in good condition before they start. So, he asked BantaSingh to go in front of the car to check the head lights. Santa Singh switched the head lights on. BantaSingh said, “Yeah! it is working!”. Then Santa switched on the high beam. Banta told “Yeah! it is working!”. Santa asked Banta to go to the rear side…
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A carpet layer has just finished installing carpet for a customer. He steps out for a smoke, only to realize that he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, is a lump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he says to himself. He proceeds to get out his hammer and flattens the hump. As he was cleaning up, the homeowner comes in. “Here,” she said, handing him his pack…
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An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.” “Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.” “That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of…
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HE: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt 5. Drive off SHE: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Search purse for gum wrapper with PIN written on it 9. Enter PIN 10.Study instruction…
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A troupe of traveling actors had taken the long bus ride from Pittsburgh to Detroit where they were scheduled to perform Hamlet that night. Derek Drake, the handsome leading man, must have been sitting in a draft because when they arrived in Detroit just six hours before the Sunday night performance, he had a scratchy throat and laryngitis. Tracy Towers, the troupe’s leading lady, frantically began phoning doctors listed in the yellow pages, but all she got were answering machines.…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.” The petition stated the following: 1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting. 2. It is…
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Things Not To Say To The Nice Police Officer 1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, I didn’t realize that my radar detector wasn’t on. 3. Aren’t you the guy from the village people? 4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me. 5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop. 6. Bad cop! No donut! 7. You’re gonna check the trunk,…
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