Rain Jokes - page 7

Why is Email Like a Penis?

Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.…

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yo mama

YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…

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Two Blondes And Car

Two blondes lock their keys in their car, so one blonde trys to break in. The other blonde just stands there. Eventually the first blonde says,”I can’t break in!” and the seconed blonde replies, “Well keep trying it looks like its going to rain and the tops down.”

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Who’s In Charge?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. “I should be in charge”, said the brain, “because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen”. “I should be in charge”, said the blood, “because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you’d all waste away”. “I should be in charge”, said the stomach, “because I process food and give all of you energy”. “I should be…

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Lessons from Noah’s Ark

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM NOAH’S ARK 1 Don’t miss the boat. 2 Don’t forget we are all in the same boat. 3 Plan ahead, it wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark. 4 Stay fit-when you are 600 years old, someone might just ask you to do something really big. 5 Don’t listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done. 6 For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. 7 Two…

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You are from a small town, when…..

During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. You are related to more than half the town. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do. Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic. You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due…

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Male Bashing

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to…

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A Quick Recovery

After undergoing complicated brain surgery, Lena suddenly fell into a coma. The doctors tried very hard to resuscitate her but to no avail. As she lay unconscious in the intensive care unit, her husband Tom was ushered to her bedside. One of the doctors said in a quiet somber voice, “She fell into a coma during the operation. I’m sorry but we did everything possible to revive her. The prognosis is not good. Unless she regains consciousness soon, we’re ruling…

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Locked out

One day there were 3 blondes who were locked out of their car trying to open it with a hanger. One blonde tried to use a hanger. It didn’t work. Another blonde tried the same thing but it didn’t work. Same thing happened to the other blonde. Then the clouds started to form and the blonde who owned the car said, “Hurry up, it is about to rain and the top is still down.”

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A Guide to ‘Help Wanted’ Ads

Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo: “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition. “Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you. “Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “Some overtime required” Some every night and some every weekend. “Duties will vary”…

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