Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to…
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After undergoing complicated brain surgery, Lena suddenly fell into a coma. The doctors tried very hard to resuscitate her but to no avail. As she lay unconscious in the intensive care unit, her husband Tom was ushered to her bedside. One of the doctors said in a quiet somber voice, “She fell into a coma during the operation. I’m sorry but we did everything possible to revive her. The prognosis is not good. Unless she regains consciousness soon, we’re ruling…
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One day there were 3 blondes who were locked out of their car trying to open it with a hanger. One blonde tried to use a hanger. It didn’t work. Another blonde tried the same thing but it didn’t work. Same thing happened to the other blonde. Then the clouds started to form and the blonde who owned the car said, “Hurry up, it is about to rain and the top is still down.”
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Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo: “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition. “Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you. “Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “Some overtime required” Some every night and some every weekend. “Duties will vary”…
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One day a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving in the middle of nowhere when their car breaks down. The brunette says, “We should take the things that we need to survive because we have to walk to the nearest town.” She then picks up some food and says, “We will need this.” The redhead picks up a bottle of water and says, “We will need this.” The blonde tries to pull the door off the car. The…
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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “I’m very angry with the way things are going on earth — this is not what I had in mind! I have accordingly decided to destroy it and start over! In 6 months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water just like before, and all the evil is destroyed; if not, I will wring it out like an old sponge. But rather than start from scratch,…
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One day a man named Bob found himself down on his luck. He had just recently lost his job and hadn’t had a date in months. He decides to leave the city and move to the country, to live with his cousin, Mark. Having never visited the beautiful Pennsylvania countryside, Bob is filled with excitement. The next day, his cousin Mark arrives at the train station to pick up Bob. He finds Bob grinning from ear to ear. “What are…
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Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Last words spoken at the Last Supper: “Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.” Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?” Did you know that half of…
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Two guys go on a camping trip up into the mountains, and they have a wonderful time. By about the fourth day, however, they’ve run out of things to talk about and are starting to get on each others nerves. So on the fourth night, as they’re having dinner, one of the guys makes a suggestion to his friend. “Look, we’ve been having a pretty good time up here, but let’s face it…after four days together we’ve run out of…
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SOUTHERN SAYINGS….. 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” 2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” 3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” 4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.’” 5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” 6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” 7. “My cow died last night so I don’t…
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