Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“I have to tell you the truth,” a young man said to his new girlfriend. “While we’ve been dating, I’ve been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.” “Don’t worry about it,” the girl told him. “I’ve been secretly seeing a computer programmer and a lawyer.”
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The psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he told them. To the first one, he said, “Your obsession is eating. Why, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.” The second, he said, was obsessed by money. “Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, “Let’s go, Dick.”
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A man on the psychiatrist’s couch tells the doctor that everyone hates him. “Nonsense,” says the doctor. “But tell me why you think everyone hates you.” “For starters,” says the painter. “I’m not white.” “That’s no reason to be hated,” counsels the doctor. “That’s true,” agrees the man on the couch. “But you see, I am also not a Christian.” “Again,” says the doctor. “That’s no reason for people to hate you.” “True,” says the patient. “But then, I am…
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“Doc,” said the young many, lying down on the couch, “You’ve got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I’m lying in bed when, all of a sudden, five beautiful women rush in and start tearing off my clothes.” The psychiatrist nods, “And what do you do?” “I push them away.” “I see. Well, what do you want ME to do?” The patient implored, “Break my arms.”
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One day Little Johnny’s dad went to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist said every time Johnny swore, the father should put a dog shit in place of one of his presents. So when Johnny’s dad got home, he asked his son, “Johnny, what do ya want for Christmas?” Little Johnny said, “I want to wake up with a great fucking teddy bear next to me. And a great fucking train set around the Christmas tree. And when I go outside…
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I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him,…
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