Pres clinton Jokes - page 8

Compu-speak

hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY?? Hey,what does this RESET butto $ not found:(A)bort (R)efinance (D)eclare bankrupcy *system error, strike any user to continue.* (A)bort (R)etry (T)urn off come to bed! (A)bort (R)etry (S)ue. BREAKFAST.COM Halted… cereal port not responding. ERROR: D3F2: Replace user and press any key to continue. Error…error…error…error…err C:\>_ C:\CLINTON\TRUTH.COM not found: (A)bort (R)etry (I)mpeach?

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Our Government

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little…

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The Drinks

The president of France, Germany, and Bill Clinton sat down at a nice restaurant to eat and talk in France. After a few minutes, the waiter walks up to them, and says to the French president, “Le wine, monsier?” Because that’s what most French people drink, he nods his head. Then the waiter walks up to the German president and says, “Le vodka, monsier?” Because that is what most people in Germany drink, and nods his head. The the waiter…

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The State of the Union

THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…

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WAYS TO TELL YOU ARE GOING TO BE IMPEACHED!

You know you?re about to be impeached when: * When you call to congratulate Mark MacGuire, he lets his answering machine get it. * Your press secretary keeps introducing you as William Milhous Clinton. * You?re invited to appear on Jeopardy?s “Impeached Presidents Week.” * Tipper Gore is in your office measuring it for new curtains. * Even the nastiest intern won?t give you the time of day. * The Library of Congress stops letting you sign out books. *…

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Stranger Than Fiction

For those who have never traveled to the great West, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed on the ground at fence openings on highways to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. I need to make that clear in order for everyone to appreciate the following TRUE story. President Clinton received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards…

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What If…

Ever wonder what it would be like if President Clinton had been born an American Indian Chief? He would most probably be known by the whole Indian tribe as “Chief Crazy Pants.” And his intern? She would most likely be some young Indian maiden named “Kneeling Fox.”

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