Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about three hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the clubhouse, the resident pro would inquire about his score. “Ed, how’d you shoot today?” to which the man would always reply, “Another perfect par.” The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day.…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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I, the undersigned, a female accepting a marriage proposal, agree that… Section 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. Section 1.01 And it’ll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like “So THIS is what hot monkey love is all about!” and howling like a cat…
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I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don’t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections. I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don’t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down! I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt. My belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer…
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Yo Mama so fat, she plays basketball like this: Through the Big Dipper — nothing but net. Yo Mama so hairy, when you were born you popped out with CARPET-BURNS. Yo Mama so old, when God said let there be light, she threw the firecracker.
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One day God, Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf. Jesus and Moses have both hit respectable 250+ yard drives on a par 4 with abundant water hazards. God takes his hit; lots of power in the stroke but he hooks badly, and the ball soars toward a deep pond. As it hits the surface, a trout rises beneath it to take a fly; the ball bounces off its head and deflects into the rough. A rabbit which…
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A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida, which will replace the traditional call of “FORE.” Once a player has hit an errant shot, he will be allowed to call “GORE,” while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again. The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first…
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Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward a water trap. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It lands right in the center…
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A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decides to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Shell station and pulls over to the high octane pump. “What can I do fer ya’ll?” asks the attendant. “Fill her up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the…
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Things Learned from Children For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, think of this as birth control. 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house, 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.…
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