Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A girl had devised a device to cause any car that passed in front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn’t find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed the house and broke down, she’d offer the man in the car a place to stay for the night. Then as soon as the man was asleep, he’d be jarred awake by her with his penis…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship again. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty, silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you?” The silver-haired Marcie…
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Q: Why do women have two sets of lips? A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.
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Pierre was arrested in paris for raping a dead woman. When brought before the judge, he was asked what he had to say for himself. Pierre replied, sheepishly, “Pardon, your Honor, I did not know she was dead, I thought she was English!”
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A Marine enters the restroom and sees a sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants. The Marine says, “It must be a pain in the ass to have to mess with all those buttons every time you take a piss.” The sailor replies, “Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I’d have to do is take off my hat.”
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Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t give a damn. They keep telling us to get in touch…
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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing a single earring. This man knows his co-worker is normally a pretty conservative fellow, and he is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings now.” “Don’t make such a big deal of it. It’s only an earring!” he replies sheepishly. “So? How long have you been wearing one?” “Ever…
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1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do. 4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten…
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1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…
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