Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
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Mr. and Mrs. Smith have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Smith comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office to their home for dinner on Friday night. Mrs. Smith is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for four. The husband explains that there will actually be eight coming since each will be bringing his wife. Since this is their first party,…
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10. Playing Santa at the Center for Bladder Control. 9. Operating a band saw after drinking a 12-pack of beer. 8. Attending All-you-can-eat buffet at Taco Bell the night before that big job interview. 7. Licking red-hot projector bulbs. 6. Midnight ocean swims after attending a crack party. 5. Clicking web links labeled “Your Internet Portal To Hell!” 4. Downloading Fran Drescher MP3 files. 3. Slicing tough, frozen bagels with razor-sharp steak knife, not an FDA-approved bagel slicing device with…
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John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the other end says, “This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? About 3 months ago?” Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.” John: “Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?” Susan: “I’m pregnant and I’m going…
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One thing that has always bugged me is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: Me: Hello? AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T… Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T… Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T… Me:…
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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…
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10. I think of you as a brother.(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to do my dad.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m…
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We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t fidget. Don’t interrupt. Don’t belch. If we did any of the don’ts, we knew we’d disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for tories of unusual behavior by job applicants. ************************************** The lowlights: ************** 1. “… stretched out…
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A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…
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Saturday morning, Phil arrives at the club for a golf date when he remembers that he forgot to let his wife know that Sears is delivering the new couch around noon. He picks up the phone in the lounge and calls home. “Hello”, says a little girl’s voice. “Hi, honey, it’s Daddy. Can I speak to Mommy please.” “No, Daddy, she’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Ted. This stops Phil for a moment. “Sweetie, you don’t have an Uncle…
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