Penis Jokes - page 2

Golf lesson

This newlywed couple decided to take golfing lessons. So the husband went to the golf trainer and he hit the ball. It went about 50 yards, not very balanced and not a good hit. So the trainer said, “Hold the golf club like you would your wife’s breasts.” So he did and it was a perfect hit, hole in 1. When the wife went to the trainer, she did the same thing, not a very good hit, about 40 yards.…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGolf lesson

Please Don’t Laugh

A man goes to a doctor and says “Doc, I have a problem but you have to promise not to laugh.” “That would be totally unprofessional,” says the doctor, “of course I won’t laugh. I’ve been practicing medicine for twenty years and I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “All right,” says the man. He opens his fly, and the doctor is greeted with the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls down…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePlease Don’t Laugh

Tongue Tied Man in a Nut Shop

A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he’s ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks, “Ess-tues me ser?” “Yes sir,” replied the clerk. “Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?” “Pistachio’s? They’re six dollars a pound.” “SSit!” The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks, “Welp, how mutsh…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTongue Tied Man in a Nut Shop

Dennis Rodman

A woman in a bar was picked up by Dennis Rodman, the famous basketball player known for the wildly changing colour and style of his hair. They liked each other and the woman went back with him to his hotel room. He removed his shirt revealing all of his tattoos and she saw, on his right arm was a tattoo that said, “Reebok”. She thought that it was a bit odd and asked him about it. Rodman responded, “When I…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDennis Rodman

Winning the Turkey

Little Johnny was considered well endowed, and his Mother told him never to pull it out in public. One day, Johnny came home and put a large turkey on the table. His mother asked him where he got it, and he said he won it. When asked how, he said a group of guys were having a contest. Whoever had the biggest penis would win the turkey. Shocked, his Mother shouted, “You didn’t pull that thing out in public, did…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWinning the Turkey

Some Old, Some New, All Bad

Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSome Old, Some New, All Bad

Nellie & Venus

There was this guy that had car trouble one night while driving in the country. So he went up to this farmer’s house and asked the farmer if he could use the phone to call a tow truck. The farmer said “Ok.” The man called then hung up the phone and said, “The tow truck won’t get here ’till tomorrow because of all this rain, so could I spend the night here?” The farmer said “Ok, as long as you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNellie & Venus

an early x-mas story

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…

(2)Loading...

Read Jokean early x-mas story

Best Emergency Room Stories

Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeBest Emergency Room Stories

Fill ‘er up!

A burly, muscular rancher returned home a day earlier from his trip to the city to deliver a herd of cattle. When he entered the bedroom, the rancher found his wife naked in bed getting it on with his ranch foreman. Angrily, the rancher grabbed his foreman by the neck and proceeded to choke him until the foreman lost consciousness. When the foreman came to after being splashed in the face with water, he found himself in the barn all…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFill ‘er up!