Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain…” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I`m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say…” “And I said to keep quiet! You`re going to jail!” A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the…
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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Here’s a nasty limerick: Miss Mary Brown said no man could lay her down, but over the hill came piss pot Pete with twenty pounds of swinging meat. He laid her on the grass and put it in her ass, but she blew a fart that knocked his balls apart Back over the hill went piss pot Peete with twenty pounds of shredded beef!
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Little Johnny went home early from school and started calling his mother and got no answer. He finally went upstairs and saw the bedroom door open a crack. When he peeked in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid, so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some groceries, he said, “Mommy, Mommy, guess what I saw? I saw Daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were…
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid…
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Two Yankees are speeding down a Texas highway when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The trooper comes over and bangs on the window with his nightstick and when the driver rolls the window down, the trooper whacks him across the head with the stick. “What did you do that for?” asks the driver. “You’re in Texas boy and when I come to the window, you have your license and registration ready for me!” “Yes, Sir!” After they…
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* If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. * Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down. * Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to find that perfect present….again. * If you ask a question you don’t want an answered, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. * Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. * Sunday sports — it’s like the full moon, or the…
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The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen’s Ball.” He replied, “No, Highway Patrolmen don’t have balls.” There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he’d said. He then closed his book, got back…
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When there an unexpected knock on my door, I first opened the peephole and asked, “Who’s there?” “Parcel Post, with a package for the Drexhages.” “Where’s the package?” I asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up. “Could I see some ID?” I said, still not convinced. “Lady,” he replied, wearily, “if I wanted to break into your house, I’d probably just use these.” And he pulled out the keys I had left in the front door.
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It was the night before the big hunt, and all the old hunting dogs always went out for a night on the town. One of the old hunting dogs decided it was time for his pup to join him. The old dog told his pup, “Since this is your first night out on the town, you stay ten steps back and just observe.” Shortly after reaching town the old dog turned down a dark alley, with the pup following close…
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