Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver notices lights flashing in his mirror; the cops are on his tail. His buddy says, “What are we going to do?” The driver says, “Don’t worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our beer bottles and we’ll each stick one on our forehead. Then shove the bottles underneath the seat, and let…
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THE WORLD’s 20 SHORTEST BOOKS 20. “The Book of Virtues” by Bill Clinton 19. “My Plan To Find The Real Killers” by OJ Simpson 18. Human Rights Advances in China 17. America’s Most Popular Lawyers 16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors 15. Detroit – A Travel Guide 14. Different Ways to Spell “Bob” 13. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational Speeches 12. Easy UNIX 11. Al Gore: The Wild Years 10. Everything Men Know About Women 9. Everything Women Know…
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Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really, it all depends on your age. Consider the following… At age 4, success is not peeing your pants At age 16, success is “getting a little” At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding At age 35, success is about career and family…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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” Yeah, whatever..” ” It’s your stomach..” ” Would you like that cooked?”.. ” How much salt is TOO much?..” ” If your order is hot, then consider it a gift..” ” You don’t actually think I’m listening, do you?”.. ” Don’t mind the open sore on my lip when you get to the window”.. ” I’m just getting over Hepatitus”.. ” I have to pee, can you hold on a minute?..
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Things Not To Say To The Nice Police Officer 1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, I didn’t realize that my radar detector wasn’t on. 3. Aren’t you the guy from the village people? 4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me. 5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop. 6. Bad cop! No donut! 7. You’re gonna check the trunk,…
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A guy dies and goes to heaven. It?s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, ?I?m not very busy today, why don?t you let me show you around?? The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.…
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Hop Sing was a cook on the Ponderosa Ranch. All the cowboys loved to poke fun at him because, being Chinese, he had a pigtail and wore a funny hat. He also couldn’t speak English very well. The cowboys used to put live snakes and frogs in his bed and pulled on his pigtail, just to tease him. Hop Sing, however, never complained and kept on working. He was a good sport. One day, the cowboys got together and said:…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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