Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad…
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A city gent is walking out of a tube station when a beggar accosts him and asks him for money for some food. The city gent replies: “Neither a lender nor a borrower be – William Shakespeare” and walks off. A few days later the beggar is wandering down a country lane when he sees the same city gent with the hood of his Rolls Royce up. The city gent says: “I say! Could you give me a push to…
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There were three ducks swimming and blowing bubbles in a lake. There was a sign that stated NO SWIMMING OR BLOWING BUBBLES IN THE LAKE. A policeman came by and saw the three ducks and arrested them. When they appeared in court the judge told the first duck to approach the bench and state his name. The first duck said, “My name is Duck.” The judge asked, “What are you in for?” Duck responded, “For swimming and blowing bubbles.” Judge…
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A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This would look nice on my mantelpiece,” he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!” POOF! A Pepsi appears before him on his desk,…
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy. “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen of Noo Yawk City. I drove a cab for 25 years.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to…
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The little old man rubs the lamp and the genie appears. The little old man unrolls a map and says “see this map? It’s the Middle East. My wish is that all the people in all the countries on this map could live in peace forever.” The genie says, “No way can I do that. It’s too much for me. You got another wish?” The little old man says, “Well, in that case maybe you could fix it so my…
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Due to increasing products liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcoholic drink containers: Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.…
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An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off”. “Blimey!” said…
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One day a man named Bob found himself down on his luck. He had just recently lost his job and hadn’t had a date in months. He decides to leave the city and move to the country, to live with his cousin, Mark. Having never visited the beautiful Pennsylvania countryside, Bob is filled with excitement. The next day, his cousin Mark arrives at the train station to pick up Bob. He finds Bob grinning from ear to ear. “What are…
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The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said he could handle the story tactfully. The book appeared. It said, “Great-uncle George occupied a…
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