Politician/Lawyer Hybrid
Question: “What do you get when you cross a dishonest politician and a crooked lawyer?” Answer: “Chelsea”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One question Jokes - page 5
Hillbilly Cop
One day a hillbilly walks into a police station because he wants to get a job as a deputy, which he’s wanted to be his whole life. So he goes over to the sheriff’s desk and says to the sheriff,”I’m hear to be a deputy.” The sheriff laughs and says, “Well lets see if you’re qualified, son.” The sheriff asks him a question and the hillbilly gives him an answer. The sheriff says, “Close enough.” The sheriff then asks him,…
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The Signalman
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him. “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?” “I would switch the points for one of the trains,” Andy replies. “What if the lever broke?” asked the inspector. “Then I’d dash down out of the signal box,” said Andy, “and I’d…
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Alaskan Midget Nuns
Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, go to their local Alaskan convent with a question. The big one nudges the little one and says, “Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.” The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, “Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.” The little Eskimo timidly says, “May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?” The…
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Little Johnny and Susie
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie’s father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.” Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Johnny, you…
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Mental Deficiency
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a chic gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “I ask him a simple question, which everyone should answer with no trouble at all. If he hesitates, that tells me just what I need to know.” “What sort of question?”…
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Some more of my deep thoughts
Home is where the house is. Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good, because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and…
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Substitute
One day as George is sitting in class the teacher is asking everybody questions about their parents and what they do for a living. Everybody replies with doctor, engineer, architect, etc. When it’s Geore’s turn, he tells the teacher that his mom works as a substitute. The teacher asks what kind of substitute and George says, “I don’t know… she just wears high heels and a very short, tight skirt and walks around the street at night.” The teacher giggles.…
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Shoot for the Moon
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr.Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was…
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A New Italian Opera!
CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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