Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
(1)
Loading...
A man walks into a pet store with a parrot sitting on his shoulder. He asks the clerk if he sells bird seed. The man says, “We’re all out, come back tomorrow.” He walks back in the next day and asks the same question. The clerk says, “Come back tomorrow.” He comes back the next day and asks, “Do you stuff birds?” The clerk says, “Yeah, I stuff birds.” The old man throws his dead parrot on the counter and…
(0)Loading...
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks…
(0)Loading...
QUESTION: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? ANSWER: 10 little piggies 2 calves 1 ass 1 beaver an unknown number of hares and a fish no one can find.
(0)Loading...
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
(0)Loading...
You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
(0)Loading...
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month…
(0)Loading...
This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the FM stations had a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali. The competition went like this: Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 – When was the last time you had…
(0)Loading...
Three blondes have died and went up to talk to St. Peter. St. Peter says,”You can’t enter these pearly gates unless you answer my question correctly. What is Easter?” The first blonde says, “It’s that holiday in October when you thank people and stuff.” St. Peter is a little annoyed by this answer and sends her to Hell. The second one says,” It’s that holiday in February when you have that big tree and stuff.” St. Peter was really annoyed…
(0)Loading...
After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs. He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key. He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique.…
(0)Loading...