One of the boys Jokes - page 7

How much have you got?

Two little boys were playing in a neighbor lady’s yard when they noticed a man knock on her door and say he wanted to have a good time and asked her, how much? She told him $30.00 and let him in. A little while later he left with a big smile on his face. This happened several more times and the little boys were getting more and more curious, so they knocked on the lady’s door and said they wanted…

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Kids’ Real Answers About Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…

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Monica’s confession

Father Ralf was the new initiate at St. Clures. The old priest, Father Patrick, was getting worn out by confessional and wanted a game of golf. He had put up a big sign to guide Father Ralf: “Do it yourself confessional – Spitting=1 Hail Mary; lying=2 Hail Marys” and so on. He said to father Ralf, “I’m off to golf now, you look after confession – just follow the chart & everything will be fine.” Ralf had a quiet morning…

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Wrong Of A Kind

One day, two boys were walking home from school when suddenly they saw a hot girl walking down the same side of the street, but unfortunately, a buff man was walking next to her. “Wow, look at her! She’s hot!” one whispers to the other. Eventually the two boys pass the girl and guy, and one they turn around to stare. “Wow, look at that ass!” says one. “Yea, he must work out…”

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Where’s God?

Two little boys live in a small town and whenever there’s trouble the local folks know these two boys done it. So finally the parents had enough and decided to talk to the preacher. “Preacher, what can we do?” the mother asked. The preacher asked to send him the youngest of the 2. They did so. The preacher asked the young boy, “Where’s God?” The little boy didn’t know. “One more time, boy, WHERES GOD?” Well the boy was so…

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Quality time with the family

There was this family of 3 brothers named Somebody, Nobody, Everybody, and their cousin Crazy. One night the four boys wanted to go out drinking at a bar. They all drank beer and were having fun. Everybody and Crazy had decided that they had all they wanted to drink. On the other hand, Somebody and Nobody still wanted to drink even though they were already drunk. As they continued to drink they started to say bad things to one another…

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Just a joke

Two altar boys walked out of the back door of a church, stripped down naked, and jumped in, head first, to a pile of snow, and slid down the hill to the parking lot. A man who just parked his car in the parking lot demanded to know what was going on. One boy said, “It’s OK. Father Flanagan likes to have a couple cold ones after mass”.

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Stupid Questions

Q. Now, doctor, isn’t it true that, when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? ————————— Q. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? ————————— Q. She had three children, right? A. Yes. Q. How many were boys? A. None. Q. Were there any girls? ————————— Q. Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you? A. I went to Europe, sir. Q. Did you…

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Glesga Wars

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…

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Thoughts from Left Field…..

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…

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