One man Jokes - page 7

Insurance Salesman

Morris walked into an insurance office and asked for a job. “We don’t need anyone,” they replied. “You can’t afford NOT to hire me. I can sell anyone anything, any time!” “Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell to. If you can sell to just one, you have a job.” He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000. “How in the world…

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Their Ideal Man

A Chinese man asked his three daughters what their ideal man should be. The first daughter said, “I want a man with three dragons on his chest.” The second daughter said, “I want a man with two dragons on his arms.” The third daughter said, “I want a man with one draggin’ on the ground.”

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Keeping up with the Jones’

A woman was having an affair when she hears a car pull into the driveway. After looking out of the window she quickly runs to the bathroom and brings out a bottle. She tells that man that her husband is home, but she has a plan. She covers him with talcum powder and advises him to stand in the corner. The woman’s husband walks into the room and looks at the man. “When did we get that statue? Gosh it…

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Perfect Woman … Almost

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission…

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How to Satisfy a Man

How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,…

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Resumania

“Resumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here’s some examples: “I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.” (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.) “Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”…

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Teaching Him to be a Gentleman

US humorist, illustrator and poet Oliver Herford was traveling on a trolley one day with his young nephew on his lap. The car was so crowded that when an attractive blonde entered, she was obliged to stand. Herford have her an admiring look and said to his nephew, “My boy, why don’t you get up and give the lady your seat?”

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Read JokeTeaching Him to be a Gentleman