Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny’s next door neighbors had recently had a baby. Due to complications, the baby was born without ears. Little Johnny’s parents decided to go and see the new baby one day. Johnny’s father explained to him about the baby and told Johnny not to make the slightest hint about the baby’s ears. Johnny agreed and said that he would be on his best behavior and say nothing about the baby’s ears. Johnny and his family went to the baby’s…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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Two blondes go to a horse auction and buy the two finest there. So when they get them home they say, “How are we gonna tell them apart?” The other one said “We’ll put a notch in one of their ears.” So the next day they come back and both horses have a notch in their ears in the same place. So now they put a ribbon on one horse’s tail. So the next day they came back and the…
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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A couple takes advantage of a beautiful Sunday afternoon to attend an auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.” The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!” The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.” Again, the wife bugs her…
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A man wins the lottery and decides to buy a new house, so he goes to the estate agent and says to the agent, “I wanna buy the biggest most expensive house you’ve got!” So the agent says, “Ahh, I’ve been saving something special for an occasion like this.” The agent takes the man up to the house and shows him around. The man likes what he sees and is about to buy the house, when the agent says, “There’s…
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Well it came to pass, that the richest man in the world had finally expired. Bill Gates shows up one fine heavenly day at the Pearly Gates and beckons on St. Peter… ST. PETE: “Well Mr. Gates, it appears there has been a mistake here, I don’t see your name on the list. BILL: “Are you sure, search again” ST. PETE:” OK, let’s see, theres, Jobs, Woz, Ellison, Clark, NOPE! No Gates!” “Sorry, Mr. Gates but unfortunately money can’t buy…
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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One fine afternoon at the new golf course in Alabama, These two men were just finishing up the front nine when they decided to take a breather in the clubhouse. They went up to the lounge room and sat down and ordered a glass of beer. They started flipping thru the channels when they decided to watch the news. The first thing that was on was a woman about to comit suicide. The first man, which was a businessman, said,…
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