Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla’s enclosure, a gust of wind blew some grit into his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the hapless fellow senseless. When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk he explained what had happened. The zookeeper…
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Isn’t it amazing just how sophisticated computers are becoming? Just the other day, I was looking at the newest ones at COMP USA. I saw one which REALLY caught my eye. Instead of an Owner’s Manual, the operating instructions consisted of a SINGLE sheet of paper, printed on only ONE side. The sheet read, “If you have trouble operating this computer in any way, please do the following: 1. Locate the nearest 12-year-old child. 2. LISTEN to what s/he says.
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get to setting one.”
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A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.” “We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear…
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am…
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10.Do not say what you mean. Ever. 9. Stash feminine products in their backpacks and in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them. 8. Play Alanis Morissette’s “You Outta Know,” loud. Look at them. Smile. 7. Look them in the eye and start laughing. (During an intimate moment) 6. Cry. 5. Gather many female friends and dance to “I Will Survive” while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing to them. Sing loud. 4. Go…
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One…
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1. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can still make your ‘Bed-rock’ 2. Your eyes are like spanners, every time I see them my nuts tighten. 3. I love every bone in your body, especially the one in my pants.
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Vice President Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” Hillary tosses her perfectly coifed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the…
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