Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks…
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An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy on cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, “My hands are freezing cold.” The mother replied, “Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up.” So the daughter did and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said “My hands are freezing cold.” The daughter replied, “Put them between my legs, they’ll…
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There was a guy waiting for the elevator and the door opens there is a really hot girl in it a she jumps all over him she say’s “make me feel like a woman” he say’s “get off for a second” he takes off all his clothes and says ” fold ’em bitch!!
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ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public 3. Works steady 4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes…
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On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
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One Halloween night, two African American children, who are brother and sister, put on their costumes and go out of the house for some trick or treat. At the first house they stop by, the boy rings the doorbell. After a few minutes, an old white woman opens the door and asks, “And who might you two be?” “We’re Hansel and Gretel!” says the boy. “But you can’t be Hansel and Gretel. They’re white!” insists the old woman who promptly…
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An old man and a old woman get married. After the reception, they go to their hotel room. The old man is waiting in bed as his new wife removes her clothes. As soon as she is ready, she says, “Now, we have to be careful, I have acute angina.” The old man says, “You better, because you sure have some ugly tits!!”
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The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.” “Uh huh,” said the old man. “We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman. “Uh huh,” said the old man. “And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman.…
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An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all…
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Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John’s wife died the same day that Joe’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, “I am sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.” Joe, thinking that she was talking about the boat, said, “Heck no, in fact, I’m sort of glad to…
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