Old wife Jokes - page 25

a guy walks in a bar

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay…

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The Nude Model

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day’s work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would…

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F.B.I.

The FBI is looking for a new assassin so they place an ad in the paper. The next day they get three replies. The three men are told to come in for an interview the next day and they need to bring their wives when they come. The next day the three men show up with wives in tow. The first man is called in and they place his wife in a room and give him a gun and tell…

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Costume Party

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots. “Where is your costume?” the husband asked. “This is it,” replied his wife. “What the heck kind of costume is that?” asked the husband. “Why,…

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Money Man

There’s a man who makes money but does not spend it. So he goes home to his wife and says “I saved $5.00 by chasing a bus and not riding it.” So the wife says “You retard you could have saved $15.00 by chasing a taxi not a cheap old bus!”

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A warning from the judge

The Old Witness A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You…

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2 Can Play It That Way

Mr. Harris had a new secretary who was such a pretty young thing and so eager to please that he decided to “work late” and to take her to dinner tonight. So he called up his wife to tell her he would be late and she replied, “No problem.” So Mr. Harris treated his secretary to dinner at a fancy restaurant where they had one drink too many. After dinner with her, it was obvious that Mr. Harris would get…

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Birthday Boy

The son of a farmer had just turned 18, and for his birthday, the farmer gave him some cash and said, “Now son, I want you to go to the city and have yourself some fun.” The son gladly took the money and took off to the city. After a few hours he returned very happy. Noticing this, the farmer asked, “How was it, son? Did you get some?” The son replied, “Yeah dad, look at all the things I…

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stupid hubby

A man returns home early from a business trip to find his wife in bed with another man. He yells, “What on earth are you doing?!!” The wife then turns to the other man and says, “See I told you he was stupid.”

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