Old friend Jokes - page 6

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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WHY Mommy is here……

My friend’s daughter is four years old, and has a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. Thinking visual images would help, my friend got out their wedding album and explained the entire service to her. Once finished, he asked if she had any questions, and she replied, “Oh, I see. Is that when Mommy came to work for us?”

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Advice for Employers Regarding Women Employees

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II – a mere 54 years ago! Obviously, the intent was not to be “funny,” but by today’s standards, this is hilarious! For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8. ———————————— Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether…

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yo mama

YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…

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Upside Down Bumper Sticker

I gave my friend who is a blonde a bumper sticker that read, “There is no such thing as a dumb blonde!” A few hours after leaving her house, she called me and asked if I had another bumper sticker. I told her no, but asked why she needed another one. She explained to me that she was going to put the bumper sticker upside down as a joke, but instead she accidentally put it right side up. I guess…

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I Don’t Understand

Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting, the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist.” Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked him what was wrong. “I don’t understand, he said. “How can we have the ceremony without…

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Vasectomy or Not

Some newly-married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband demurred, saying two would be enough for him. They discussed this difference of opinion for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.” Without a moment’s hesitation, the bride retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love our third child as…

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Local Repair Shop

When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably only needed to be cleaned. Since the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying to do the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business this way?” “Actually, it’s my boss’ idea,” the employee…

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Nuts that tell time

It was siesta time in the sleepy Mexican village. Pedro reclined on the sidewalk while his favorite ass, Pablo, stood nearby. An American tourist wandered by, stopped to click a few photos of Pedro and Pablo, then in jest, asked Pedro if he knew what time it was. Pedro looked up at him, quietly reached over, hefted Pablo’s huge nuts, squinted at them, said “Two-fifteen, senor,” then went back to his siesta. When the tourist checked his watch, it said…

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Do you have a BC?

The story is told of a lady who was rather old fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a weeks vacation to Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation,…

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